Today I raise a glass🥂 to you. Here is to women changing the terrain and ruling their own lives.
When men make choices like how many times they marry, nobody questions. When a woman makes a decision to leave a relationship that nolonger saves her interests and get into another one, society especially Zimbabwe goes all biblical, as though the Bible only refers to women.
Zimbabweans especially churches must preach a true gospel that doesn’t only castigate women and when we talk of moral standards they should apply to all men and women equally. What people don’t say enough is that men have for a long time enjoyed entering in and leaving women, this is the power that they have enjoyed for years and years, to the extent that other women do frown upon fellow women who make their own bold decisions like men.  Such decisions as leaving and remarrying.
It’s high time men realize that just like them, women can make decisions to leave, and if they are left they can make bold decisions to move on and find another love.
It’s high time women stop putting up with abuse of their husbdands, the husband’s relative and their own relatives of expecting them to stay in toxic relationships just because society will label them the ugly they do not label men who do the same or worse.
It’s high time women realize just like men, If a relationship nolonger saves their interests they must be bold to move on, if it has become toxic just as thousands of relationships women are being forced to endure under fear of what people will say when they leave, meanwhile they are abused night and day under a men who is cheating on them or giving them financial abuse.
It’s high time women and girls in Zimbabwe reject the unbiblical societal expectations of biased morals. If we expect people to not remarry it should be applied to both women and men. As long as men can marry and remarry women can do that too.
It’s high time we stop unequal measure of hypocritical ‘righteousness’ which is pretty much oppressive in nature, the hypocrisy must stop!
While at it, dear Felly, I watched the woman who preached at your bridal shower yesterday, it’s along the same lines that she was encouraging you to accept Infidelity from your husband without question, asserting  ‘solong as it doesn’t come to your door step’.
No woman should have to do that, to tolerate infidelity, just like your man must not have to ever think that it’s ok for you to expect him to do the same.
If your union is broken and you both agree to stay together that’s another story and again I think as adults you must sit down and accept that the union is broken and if you choose to stay together ‘umwe neumwe achitamba yake’ that’s another adult arrangement.
What is not ok is for women like yourself to accept abuse of being cheated on and having to pay a deaf eye or ear pretending that the relationship is still ok. That’s abuse for yourself and subsequently for your daughters. You must not pretend that all is well when it’s not.
Tinashe must respect you and respect your union by not cheating, it’s not too much to ask, it’s a Godly standard and he must give you that, just like you should also give him the same. DO NOT ACCEPT TO BE DEHUMANISER BY ENTERING A MARRIAGE UNION WHERE YOU ARE ACCEPTING CHEATING FROM DAY ONE. That’s sick, that’s oppressive, abusive  and you must reject it.
Protect your daughters as well nomatter what, I know you will also put them first and you will not ignore anything that is not right from anyone on them.
I want to celebrate you for making choices to put you first. You are demonstrating to many Zimbabwean women and girls that you should always make decisions to make yourself happy, decisions that save you not people, that if a marriage makes you happy, you will get married to a person whom you love, and not hesitate to move on should it not work for you. Many African girls will learn from you too.
Here is a woman who is making her own love choices, choosing herself first. I wish you and Tinashe love, happiness, loyalty, putting each other first. Ngara, nungu, musatinyadzise Maphosa, love your woman right.
Yours in sisterhood,
Nyari Mashayamombe.
Twitter @nyarimash
Facebook; Nyaradzo Nyari Mashayamombe
Instagram; @nyarimash_ids.
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